


"Son My Son": Superhero

by ramify



Series: Supernatural Songfics [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Milo Greene, POV John Winchester, Son My Son, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-16 21:07:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/866619
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ramify/pseuds/ramify
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John Winchester just wants to be a superhero to his boys. But Sammy left, and even though Dean stayed, John knew he lost him as soon as he told Sammy not to come back, and even though Mary was already gone, he felt like he lost her all over again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Son My Son": Superhero

**Author's Note:**

> A songfic based around the song "Son My Son" by Milo Greene.
> 
> I truly dislike John Winchester with a passion, and I needed to make something that didn't make me dislike him so much. I still do, but it's a little better.

 

_Son, my son_

_The weight is unique_

_One, by one_

_The words are complete_

_Your testing is calling_

_And we are still falling_

_For keeps_

_Just remember the weight of your world's_

_Only resting on me_

 

No one would ever know that many years ago, when Sammy was just a baby and before his wife had died, that John Winchester had stood at his youngest son's crib. As he had done with Dean and with a smile on his face, he would think to himself that Sammy was destined to do great things with his life. No matter what the boy did, John was certain he would be proud. Sammy and Dean could become doctors, artists, or even stay at home fathers, and John would beam with pride because they were his sons. He would never run them away.

 

Eventually, he would reach in the crib and pick the small child up. He could remember very clearly how Sammy had felt in his arms, just as he could Dean.  He also remembered that he couldn’t picture the two as full grown men, and sometimes he would laugh to himself because he never thought Sammy would be so tall. Sometimes he’d think about Sammy’s eyes and remember how he could see Mary behind them. He would think about the fact that Sammy was so much like Mary when he was angry even though he had barely been around the wonderful woman.

 

John wanted to be a greater father than he had been. He had never meant to put so much weight on his sons.

  

_Truth, so true_

_Slight tendency_

_For two by two_

_To be as they meet_

_Your waltz like repeating_

_Continues your dreaming_

_In threes_

_You will bury that hatchet with and olive branch_

_Tied to your knee_

 

When he thought about it, John realized how unrealistic his expectations had been, especially the expectations he had for Dean, who did as he was told without question. The poor boy had done whatever John had asked, even when John had pushed him beyond his limit. Dean would never cry, but rather just pick himself right back up and ask what was next. John was ashamed of himself when he thought about what he had put Dean through and demanded of him. He had made the boy grow up too fast.

 

He had crushed both boy’s dreams from the very beginning. Sammy persisted and rebelled, but Dean listened to his father. John remembered the day Dean came to him after school and told him that he wanted to be a firefighter. He had told John that he would save people, but with a coldness in his eyes, John told him that he was a hunter and he saved people by hunting the supernatural. From then on, Dean had it programed in his head that he was a hunter and never again talked about anything he wanted.

 

If only Mary could see him now, she would leave him and take the boys with her in a heartbeat.

  

_Only_

_Only when you're sleeping_

_Only_

_Only when you're sleeping_

 

Every so often, when the boys were asleep, curled up next to each other in the motel rooms, John would look down at them, just as he had when they were babies. With a smile, he would tell himself that they would save people and find the demon that had killed Mary before it found Sammy. She would be avenged, he thought, and Sammy will be saved. And maybe, just maybe, they could continue their lives normally. Dean could be a firefighter and Sammy could be a doctor. They would become fathers and do a better job than he had done.

 

_Son, my son_

_The weight is unique_

_One, by one_

_The words are complete_

_Your testing is calling_

_And we are still falling_

_For keeps_

_Just remember the weight of your world's_

_Only resting on me_

 

He hadn’t been getting any closer to finding the demon that had killed Mary and he let his frustration out on hunts. Most of the time he would take the boys with him. Dean would be his right hand man while Sammy trailed close behind them as look out. This hunt, though, was a lead to finding the thing that had torn their family apart. He hadn’t had a lead in almost a year, and now that he finally found something, he didn’t want to take a chance of something going wrong if the boys were there. And so he went alone, leaving Dean to care after his younger brother.

 

It hadn’t gone well, and he made his way back to the motel in a blinding rage. How could he have let the demon slip from his grasp? It was his only lead! If only he had brought the boys, maybe things could have gone differently. The very thought was erased from his mind the moment he stepped into the motel.

 

The boys hadn’t heard him enter, so he stood by and watched them. They were watching a movie on the television, arguing to each other who was a better superhero. Superman or Batman. Dean argued that Batman was _“just awesome”_ and Sammy told him that Superman was _“actually a superhero because he had powers”_.  This went on for quite some time until Dean said:

 

_“I think dad is the best superhero.”_

 

John beamed with pride. At the end of the day, he hadn’t failed as a father, he thought. After all, children were supposed to think their father was a superhero. His heart ached with happiness.

 

 _“Dad isn’t a superhero...”_  Sammy whispered quietly. Dean hadn’t said anything, but John knew that if he heard Sammy, then Dean must have as well. His pride left as quickly as it came; he had failed after all.

 

_Only_

_Only when you're sleeping_

_Only_

_Only when you're sleeping_

The boys were having nightmares. John still watched over them when he couldn’t sleep. He wished he could take them away. Their dreams should be a peaceful place; the monsters and ghosts shouldn’t follow them into their sleep. John was to blame. He had dragged them into this life, and now they couldn’t escape it, even in their dreams.

 

_I will never run_

_I would never run you away_

_I will never run_

_I would never run you away_

_Son my only son_

_I will never run you away_

_I will never run_

_I will never run you away_

 

Sammy had left for Stanford and John had said such terrible things. If he truly cared about Mary, then he would have stayed to find the thing that killed her. If he wanted to help people, he would help them hunt, rather than going to school to become a crap lawyer. If he wanted to go to some damn college, then he should stay gone.

 

John couldn’t help but see Mary in Sammy's shadow as he left. He had looked to Dean, who only held a look of pity in his eyes and John clearly saw his wife staring out through them. Even though Dean stayed that night, he knew he lost him as soon as he told Sammy never to come back, and even though Mary was already gone, he felt like he lost her all over again. That night he cried harder than he ever had before. He never thought he would run his boys away.

 

_I will never run_

_I will never run_

_You_

_Away_


End file.
